1 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,998 For you. Give me a call. One for you. 2 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,512 I don't look upon this like it's the end. 3 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,953 I look upon it as moving on. It's almost like my work here's done. 4 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,312 I can't imagine Jesus going, 5 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:04,719 "I've told people here in Bethlehem I'm the Son of God. Can I just stay here?" 6 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,799 No. You've gotta move on. You've got to spread the word. 7 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,753 You've got to go to Nazareth. 8 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:15,748 And that's very much like... me. 9 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,988 My world does not end here. Slough's a big place. 10 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:25,637 When I've finished with Slough, there's Reading, Aldershot, Bracknell. 11 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,070 You've got Didcot, Yateley. 12 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,194 Winnersh. Taplow. 13 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,199 Because I am my own boss, I can... Burfield. 14 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:42,239 I can wake up one morning and go, "I don't feel like working today. Can I stay in bed?" 15 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,719 "You'd better ask the boss." "David, can I stay in bed?" "Yes, David." 16 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,599 Both me. Not me in bed with another bloke called David. 17 00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:00,074 Be a bit weird for you when I'm? 18 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,033 - Different, certainly. - Sadder. 19 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,152 I am telling this to everyone. 20 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:11,275 I do not want you going, "That's it. We're out of here. There's no point..." 21 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,074 - (PHONE RINGS) - Sorry. Can I get that? 22 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:16,512 Hello. 23 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:22,670 Oh, that's great. No. That's a load off my mind. Thanks for calling. Cheers. Bye. 24 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,037 - Sorry. - I want to... you know... 25 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:32,314 - Oliver? They took the lot, mate. - You lucky... You were bricking it. 26 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,476 I was, yes. 27 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:40,355 - All I'm saying is, I don't want you... - Sorry. Can I just phone Steve? 28 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,312 Yeah. You're busy. 29 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:49,235 Steve. It's Jamie. They took the lot, mate. 30 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,398 Yeah. No, it was a team effort. 31 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,353 Yeah. That's what I thought. 32 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,151 Here he is. The big man. 33 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:05,873 Ow! 34 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,199 Clumsy. 35 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,756 - Hello. - Hiya. 36 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,111 - How are you? - All right. How are you? 37 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,392 My mum and dad phoned me last night. 38 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:41,037 Basically, we have this beautiful cottage in the New Forest. 39 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:47,873 Once a year we have this family do, and Mum and Dad wanted to know if we'd like to come. 40 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,594 Oh, I can't. When is it? 41 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,395 - We'd have a week, two weeks' notice. - Yeah. 42 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:00,516 - It'd be on a weekend. - That's tricky. That's the problem. 43 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,156 Well, I kind of told them that we'd go. 44 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,113 You told them? I wished you'd asked me. 45 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,594 (PHONE RINGS) 46 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:25,236 - Hello. - Oggy oggy oggy! 47 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,592 Oi oi oi! All right, Oggy? Keeno here on speakerphone. 48 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,756 - On speakerphone? - Yup. 49 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:36,397 - Tits! Who heard that? - Everyone, you mental head. Shut up. 50 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,469 - You coming down for Gobbler's birthday? - Yeah. Jimmy the Perv coming? 51 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,671 - Yeah. - What about Fish Fingers? 52 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:48,635 He can't come because Susan caught him getting off with what's-her-face. 53 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,796 - That is mental. - Yeah. 54 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,637 - See you later, then. - Gonads! 55 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,199 Mentalist. 56 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,230 - Hear that? - Mm. 57 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,919 Oggmonster. 58 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,311 Here we are. The madhouse. 59 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,158 Hiya. 60 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,793 Hi. 61 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,434 - All right, Tim? - All right? 62 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,510 What, her? She's writing an article on me. "Inside Paper". 63 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:33,632 Ben's... Ben, are you wondering who that is? Well, I'll tell you all. 64 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,559 If you're wondering who this stranger is, 65 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:41,595 she's writing an article on me for "Inside Paper". Where have you been? 66 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,756 - Warehouse. - You missed this. 67 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,077 She's writing an article on me for "In..." 68 00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:49,236 Subject matter. 69 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,272 Right. 70 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,550 What do you want to know? 71 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,719 - Do you mind if I talk to your staff later? - Why? 72 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,196 I thought I'd have a chat to some of them. 73 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,439 - I want to see what they say. - I won't put anything nasty in. 74 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,790 They won't say anything nasty. 75 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:17,110 OK. Would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management? 76 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:24,556 Put..."Brent is refreshingly laid-back for a man with such responsibility." 77 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,639 Just answer in your own words and I'll work that out. 78 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,799 Um..."Brent mused and then replied..." 79 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,310 Just say what's on your mind and I'll get it down. 80 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,195 Are you getting it down? I'm going to be pretty... 81 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,511 - Just... - Well... OK. 82 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:49,590 Your question was "Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular?" 83 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,313 No, it wasn't. 84 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,796 - I'll answer that first... - Can we stick to my questions? 85 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,232 Well, maybe you should be clear what the question is. 86 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,673 OK. 87 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,633 - He said on the nog. - Offensive. 88 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,308 - What's so funny? - Nothing. 89 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:17,118 I was just um... I was just talking to Emma about... 90 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,710 What is that pub we went to on Friday? 91 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,673 - (PHONE RINGS) - Gareth Keenan, hello. 92 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,429 Hi, baby. It's Anne. Are you coming round tonight? 93 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:32,668 - Can't. Going up Chaser's with the lads. - Come round first. 94 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,075 - All right. - Have some fun. 95 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,716 - OK. - Are you going to bring the toys again? 96 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,113 Yeah. 97 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,912 OK. 98 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:48,635 Yeah. Look forward to doing it to you, too. 99 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,192 All right. Bye. 100 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,635 - The toys? - Shut up. 101 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,593 What are the toys? Is it Buckaroo? 102 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,074 - It's not Boggle, is it? - Shut up. 103 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,558 - If it's Ker-Plunk, I'm coming round. - It was a private phone call. 104 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,228 Don't put it on speakerphone, then. 105 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,716 Yeah. "The Jolly Farmer"...Is it Hungry Hippo? 106 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:20,589 Private life. Just to flesh out David Brent the man. Is there a better half? 107 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:25,828 "David quipped, 'Why buy a book when you can join a library?"' 108 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,353 - So you play the field? - Well... I don't use chicks and shit. 109 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,120 I'm just chilling out while I'm young. 110 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:38,313 - And is there a chick in tow? - I don't kiss and tell. 111 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,557 Are you in a relationship at the moment? 112 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,558 "Brent says, 'No comment'." 113 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:49,515 - So you don't have a girlfriend? - Well, what is a "girlfriend"? 114 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:54,316 - Someone you'd have sex with? - Don't get coarse in a public magazine. 115 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,671 You won't win a Pulitzer for filth. 116 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:10,432 I got this for my mate Gobbler. It's his birthday. We're all going up Chaser's. 117 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:16,670 (WOLF-WHISTLE) Oh, yeah! Come on, come on, baby! 118 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,678 - Come on, come on, baby! - Watch. 119 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,908 (JANGLY VERSION OF WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYS) 120 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,509 Oh... Oh... Oh! 121 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,188 Oh, no! 122 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,876 You know Gobbler, don't you? You seen this? 123 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,594 Come on, come on, baby! 124 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,234 - Come on, come on, baby! - Watch. 125 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:48,956 He'll love that. He comes in his pants. 126 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,793 Do it again. 127 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,117 I don't give myself a hard time about things. 128 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,595 I'm 30 years young now. 129 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:04,954 I'm not someone who has specific goals about doing this or that by my age. 130 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,594 "Why haven't I taken that chance?" 131 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,952 If you look at life like rolling a dice, 132 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,470 then my situation now may only be a three. 133 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:20,834 If I jack that in now, go for something better, I could easily roll a six. 134 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:25,318 No problem. I could roll a six. I could also roll a one. 135 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:29,274 So I think sometimes just leave the dice alone. 136 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:52,431 That's why my professionalism is only as important as... 137 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:56,952 - (KNOCKING) - Come in... my humanism. 138 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,311 Hi. I just wondered if you've got time for a chat. 139 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:05,469 I've always got time for staff, Dawn. "He's always got time for staff." 140 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:10,834 - Before you go... - "Even though a lot happening in his mind." 141 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,314 Shoot. 142 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,798 Before you leave, I wanted to hand in my notice. 143 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,197 Ooh, no. Thought this would happen. 144 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,631 - Who else is thinking of doing this? - No one. 145 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:29,915 Don't throw your career away because I'm leaving. I know it won't be the same. 146 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,076 That's not why I'm going. 147 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:35,238 - Reading between the lines. - You haven't read it. 148 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:40,195 Is it just a coincidence you're handing in your notice when I'm leaving? 149 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,709 - Yes, it is. - Is it? 150 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:48,119 - Can I ask why you're leaving? - I'm going away with my fiancé. 151 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,072 - Where to? - The States. 152 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:56,037 OK. Thanks. What are you going to write about this? OK. I thought we were... 153 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:03,076 Getting back to... "Strings to Brent's bow. A) Philanthropist." 154 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,916 - Hiya. Have you got a minute? - Yeah. Sure. 155 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:18,069 When David goes, we're probably going to do an external appointment. 156 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:24,196 We wondered if you'd do us a favour in the meantime and be caretaker manager. 157 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,598 - Blimey. God... - Just doing David's job... 158 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,156 Obviously there'd be acting-up pay. 159 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:37,718 That's really flattering. Thank you. Listen, I'm going to say no and... 160 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:42,994 - It's a bit more work for a lot more money. - I've got nothing to spend it on. 161 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:48,194 - It's only temporary. - I thought that about this job! 162 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,073 - OK. - So I'm... 163 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:56,070 Listen. I think you should give it to Gareth. Seriously, I do. 164 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:02,469 He takes things seriously. He's conscientious. He works hard. 165 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,398 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 166 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:10,232 He knows this place inside out. I think he might be the man for it. 167 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,908 (WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE PLAYS) 168 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,509 - Thanks, Tim. - Thank you. 169 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,395 Oh, no... Oh, no! 170 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:27,071 It says that for women, the most important qualities in a man are... 171 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,840 eyes, smile, 172 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,951 flat stomach... 173 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,151 - Yup. - Buttocks... 174 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,793 Yup. 175 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,958 - You've got good buttocks, Gareth? - Yes. 176 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,720 - Can we see them? - No. Gay. 177 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:47,671 Let's put it out. Sheila, what do you look for in a bloke? 178 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:56,076 I like blacks. 179 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,711 Cool. 180 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:13,197 - Trudy, how about you? - I quite like shy men, actually. 181 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,393 - Yeah. I understand that. - Would that be yours? 182 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,034 - No. - What do you look for in a man? 183 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:25,473 - Rugged good looks. - You tell me it's a good sense of humour. 184 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,229 Yeah. You've got a good sense of humour. 185 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,396 Yeah, I know. 186 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,519 Rach, have you got a sec? 187 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,668 I just wanted to tell you... 188 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,755 I don't know how to say it. 189 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,156 This is so hard. 190 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:42,915 - Well done. She's crying. - I know. Just leave it. 191 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,398 - Up to me to clear up your mess. - Just stay out of it, mate. 192 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:52,958 You dumped her, so it's nothing to do with you any more. She needs cheering up. 193 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:57,711 Don't take Dirty Bertie. Don't... I beg you. Don't take Bertie. 194 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,515 - Overruled. - If you have to go, don't take Bertie. 195 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,956 - Hi... - Fuck off. 196 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,916 Potty mouth. 197 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,995 There you go. So... Stay in touch. 198 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,633 Cheers. 199 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:38,879 People can't believe I'm this happy to be leaving. 200 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,632 Not because there's anything wrong with it, but you know I did that thing at the centre? 201 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:49,038 Well, as I was giving that motivational speech, 202 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:54,553 I could literally see them all getting all motivated from it. 203 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,069 It's like being born again. 204 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:03,469 It showed me how much I had to offer other people. 205 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:09,676 These are the guys from Cooper and Webb, the management training consultants. 206 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:13,031 This is Ray. This is Jude. This is Helena. 207 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,678 She's writing quite a big article on me for "Inside Paper", the trade magazine. 208 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:23,431 I've mentioned our thing, so... You don't mind if she sits in? 209 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,235 - Not if you don't. - I'm coolio. OK. 210 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,512 (PHONE RINGS) 211 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,154 Hello. Wernham-Hogg. 212 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,549 Yup. I'll put you through. 213 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:42,070 - I'll be in in a few days. - OK. 214 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,875 If you've got any problems, give me a call... 215 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,394 - OK. - See you later. 216 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,272 Bye, Dawn. 217 00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:02,633 Probably wondering who they're going to offer David's job too. Me. 218 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,592 - You got it? - Yes. 219 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,756 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 220 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:13,399 You can start bucking your ideas up. Starting with your appearance. 221 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:19,232 It's going to be a well-oiled, tight ship around these here parts. 222 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:25,677 - What sort of management training is it? - We... 223 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:31,318 I'll answer. They use celebrity speakers... expert speakers. 224 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,958 And my personal tip is my rise to the top, which gives it a whole new edge. 225 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,957 So... OK. 226 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,754 So where are we? Shoot. 227 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:46,873 - We'd like to thank you for your time... - No sweat. 228 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,868 ...but we won't be using you again. - You won't be? 229 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,516 - Why not? - It's not what we were looking for. 230 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:59,555 I'll do it how you... I did it like that because that was the vibe of the day. 231 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,638 How do you want me to do it? 232 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,515 We have a very specific idea of what we're looking for... 233 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,154 Oh, fucking hell! 234 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,675 - We would like to thank you... - Yeah, yeah, yeah! Yada, yada, yada. 235 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,633 - Go on, then. Timewasters. - We're sorry... 236 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,638 Oh, get out. Go on. Thank you. 237 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,474 Wasting my time. 238 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,350 - Me as well? - Yeah. 239 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,234 - Would you mind if I took a quick photo? - No. 240 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,234 - I'm waiting for the flash... - Yeah. 241 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,030 There's a green light. 242 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,919 OK. 243 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,918 - Right. - Can I take one more for safety? 244 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,113 - Waiting for the green light. - I know. 245 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,388 - Right. - Thank you. 246 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,152 - Hello. - Hi. 247 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,351 - All right? - Fine. 248 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:09,798 Am I fine? Um... I've just heard you were leaving. 249 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,120 - Blimey. - Say it isn't so. 250 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,754 - Word gets around fast. - It's true? 251 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,953 - Yeah. - Were you going to tell me? 252 00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,991 - God, yeah. - You were? 253 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,156 - Yes. - OK. 254 00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,749 Are you going to another job? 255 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:32,670 - No. Lee and I are going to go away. - On holiday? 256 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:39,638 No. We're going to Florida for about six months. Something like that. 257 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,876 - Six months? - Mm. 258 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,437 Lee's sister lives out there, so we could live with her. 259 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,996 He's not happy in his job. I'm not happy in mine. 260 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:55,354 - Is there a name for this? - I don't know. Starting again? 261 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,994 Right. Starting again. 262 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:03,354 We'll just get our heads together, I think, and... you know. 263 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,198 Cool. 264 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:13,350 Oh, God. Hello. The adventurer. She's just telling me about the American thing. 265 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,757 Yeah. Me sister's over there. Got a big house. 266 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:20,191 - We haven't seen it yet. - Seen pictures. 267 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,472 Her husband's raking it in as well. Yeah. 268 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:29,312 We thought we'd get a mobile home, drive up the coast till the cash runs out. 269 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,318 Then come home or get a place out there. 270 00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,080 - Accommodation's well cheap. - Is it? 271 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,592 If Dawn gets a job on reception, she'll be twice as well off. 272 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:44,316 That'd be nice, wouldn't it? Good luck. I'd better get back to it. 273 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,476 Cheers, mate. 274 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,035 - Hi, love. How you doing? - Good. 275 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,074 You looking for swimming costumes? Bikinis? 276 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,670 A real relationship isn't like a fairytale. 277 00:22:56,880 --> 00:23:00,668 If you think every time you see each other you're going to glow 278 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:06,159 or every time you hold hands there'll be electricity, you're kidding yourself. 279 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:12,071 What about reliability, paying the mortgage or someone who's never been out of work? 280 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:17,991 Those are the more important practical things... in reality. 281 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:07,035 As I said before, when I asked Dawn out, I didn't ask her out, I asked her as a friend. 282 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:12,268 She was having trouble with Lee at the time and it wasn't like a... 283 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,519 Under different circumstances, something might have happened. 284 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:23,034 She's going away now. You can't change circumstances. 285 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,876 Sorry. Excuse me. 286 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,994 Dawn, can I have a word in here? 287 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,519 Ta. 288 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:57,511 (MICROPHONE RUSTLES AND GOES OFF) 289 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,876 - (MICROPHONE ON) - She said no, by the way. 290 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,429 - You all right, David? - Fine. You? 291 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,234 - Yup. - Good. Small talk done. 292 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:56,514 Thanks very much. Everyone really appreciates what you've done. 293 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,596 Yeah? 294 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:06,710 OK. Down to business. That's what we've come up with as a redundancy offer. 295 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:14,796 - Yup. More than I expected. - We've been quite generous. 296 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,752 Bada-bing. 297 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:22,876 You can leave on the third with your holiday, I understand, which is a Tuesday. 298 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:28,632 Did you want to come back for a party on the Friday or leave on the Friday before? 299 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,512 Whatever. 300 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,678 OK. Well, again, thanks very much, David. 301 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,994 Don't make me redundant. 302 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,676 - Please. - Look, David... 303 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:49,034 I don't want redundancy. I haven't signed anything. So... 304 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,437 David, unfortunately, it's not up to you. 305 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:58,556 All right, then. Well, I'm asking. OK? Please don't make me redundant. 306 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,037 You can talk to someone, Jenny. 307 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:09,789 - The wheels are already in motion. - Stop them. 308 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:16,838 - We're not going to discuss this now. - Say it's not definite before you go. 309 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:24,072 I will try twice as hard. I know I've been complacent. 310 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:29,718 I'll turn this place around if you say it's not definite now and then we can... 311 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:34,072 You're not going until... Starting from now. 312 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,473 (DAVID) Life is a series of peaks and troughs... 313 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:59,629 and you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out 314 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,798 or on a peak until you're coming down. 315 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,197 You never know what's round the corner. 316 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,197 But it's all good. 317 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,357 If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain. 318 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,519 Do you know which "philosopher" said that? Dolly Parton. 319 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,519 And people say she's just a pair of tits. 320 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:33,518 321 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:39,717 322 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,354 323 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,759 so you could buy... 324 00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,997 (PHONE RINGS) 325 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,668 Hello. Wernham-Hogg.